Polyamory vs. Swinging

by lauran on June 13, 2011

I just found an interesting article from 2010 comparing the polyamory and swinging worlds.

“The ‘poly vs. swinging’ debate has died down in the last five years or so, praise be. The two subcultures, similar in theory but different in who they attract, may be learning not to over-stereotype and diss each other. And there’s always been crossover and middle ground.”

From my experience, they are very different types of people. As a rule, poly people tend to more inclusive. Go to a poly meeting and you’re likely to run into gays, lesbians, transexuals, BDSM couples along with every variety of poly out there.

Go to a swing party and you’ll find swingers.

Bring up bisexuality at a swing party and everything is great – if you mean having sex with bisexual women. If you want to explore bisexuality as a male-to-male it’s a different story. The same is true for most other type of kinks.

Here’s why I think swingers operate this way.

Swingers live two lives – their normal life with occasional weekend nights at a swing party. They look and act as normal as anyone else except at a swing event.

In other words, they can stay in the closet much easier than other alternative lifestyles. No one is likely to out a swinger after running into the at a swing event – they’re at the same event and the mud stays right on your hands when you sling it.

Poly families, on the other hand, tend to live as poly all the time. It’s hard to hide your lifestyle from friends, neighbors and family. So poly people come to grips with their lifestyle choices and come out to those around them. Swingers… not so much.

Of course, from one perspective both groups are practicing non-monogamy or open marriage. And there are clearly times when it benefits both groups to work together. It’s just not always easy to get them to see that.

Then there are those of us who are into both lifestyles and believe there’s a lot to be said for exploring everything to find out what works for you. Count me in that group.

Here’s a link to the article:

Polyamory in the News: Polys vs. Swingers, as viewed from 2010

What has been your experience?

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

seosource123 June 28, 2011 at 11:02 pm

There are lots of things that can satisfy us and in terms of sexual intercourse bdsm may be a good tool to achieve optimum sexual satisfaction and for others an abusive form of connection, but regardless of their opinion the best way is to choose what makes you happy.

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seosource123 June 28, 2011 at 11:04 pm

There are lots of things that can satisfy us and in terms of sexual intercourse swinging may be a good tool to achieve optimum sexual satisfaction and for others and regardless of others opinion this is the best way is to choose what makes you happy.

http://www.sumisamadrid.com

Reply

lauranbruce June 29, 2011 at 7:51 am

Live and let live, the best way to be.

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